God wants us to know our weaknesses, so He allows trials and temptations to come into our lives. Even when you're in a trial, He'll try you (That's how much He cares...and how much we need it). I was in a hurry, ass I am most nights, on my way back to jail. I needed Gas, needed to use the restroom badly, wanted (not needed) a snack for the road, and was on the phone with my wife. Trying to be as efficient as possible I started pumping the gas using Pay-at-the-pump and rushed in to use the restroom. Then I got my snack and the station attendant was mopping and not immediately checking me out. I gave a fake cough / clear my throat and glanced over to see her finishing up mopping the isle she was cleaning.
Then I gave another fake cough to make the first one seem more believable (this is where it turned to impatience --SIN!) She checked me out and I rushed back to the car, started it up and drove off. Two seconds away from the pump I heard a clanking noise. I thought I ran over something so I kept going toward the end of the parking lot. I looked back thru my mirror and noticed my gas tank door was open and the pump and hose were lying on the ground! I quickly rushed back and hung up the pump, ran inside to see about resolving the issue w/ the attendant. How out of whack was my focus! How ridiculously impatient I was! How many times is God going to have to teach me things? Unless I (we-Christians) are completely and always filled with the Holy Spirit and every facet of our being is surrendered to His will by having our will surrendered to Him, we will always do STUPID things and will always need "pop-quizzes"! I apologized and asked her to apologize to her boss and send me the bill. (I pray the damage isn't too great). I still was focused on me and feeling sorry for myself and feeling guilty.
My wife (God bless her) encouraged me to pray and ask forgiveness and I had some time to think in the hallway before getting checked back into jail. I prayed and asked God to show me where I went wrong. Immediately the fake, impatient coughs came to mind. I knew I was not yielded to His spirit and asked forgiveness for it. Learn what you can from God's "pop quizzes". He reads your heart and knows your thoughts / motives. Be open and honest with him in your repentance. It helps to write it down or "blog" it so you can share it with and encourage others. May God Bless you thru this.
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